A Gardener I'll Never Be

Do plants really like to be talked to?
Most assuredly they do!

But sometimes I wish…
    those plants could talk to me!

too much water…
or too dry?
too much light?
the soil’s not right!
mealy bugs…
or is it slugs?
lack of air?

Oh, such despair!

A great Dracaena looms
    in my living room.
        I wish those giant stalks
            could talk!
                Its regal garb is droopy green
                    with browning tips and polka dot spots.

too hot?
a new pot?
the roots will rot!
spider mites!
the light’s not right!

Oh, what a fight!

I’d like to be plant wiser,
    but do they need more fertilizer?

Boston fern
    with ruffled, shedding dress…
        you’re a mess!
I yearn
    to keep one plant alive
        for just six months or more
            without running to a store
                to inquire of some dreadful disorder.

Kangaroo Vine
Norfolk Pine
Lady Slipper
Lilies of the Valley.

I’d like to look on you all with pride,
    but it’s obvious – you need insecticide…

A flower girl I’ll never be,
    a gardener’s role is not for me!

Oh, why can’t
    my plants
        talk back to me!